How to Fast in Recovery From Binge Eating

How are you supposed to fast when you binge eat? One could argue that fasting is just a binge waiting to happen, and without any guidance, it very well may be.

That’s exactly what fasting was for me for all the years I was active in my eating disorder. I would binge to kick off the fast, full of fear that I wasn’t going to eat for 25 hours, so I really needed to “pack it in”, and then I would binge once the fast was over, rationalizing that I hadn’t eaten for 25 hours, so, you guessed it, I had to pack it in. The self-loathing that followed both of those binges prevented me from even beginning to allow any spiritual thoughts about the fast to enter my mind.

I share this because I know I am not alone. If you are a Jewish mom who struggles with binge eating and a fast day is approaching, I want you to know that I understand how hard this is.

Why Do Jews Fast on Yom Kippur and Tisha B’Av?

As I understand it, the purpose of fasting in Judaism, both on Yom Kippur and Tisha B’Av, our two major fast days, each lasting approximately 25 hours, is to transcend our bodily needs and try to achieve a higher spiritual plane. By not being distracted by our physical needs for food and water, we have the opportunity to connect more deeply with G-d.

What Actually Made the Difference 

I still don’t embrace fasting. I don’t get excited about it, and I also don’t fear it. I have had enough experience now fasting without binge eating, either before or after the fast, that I don’t panic beforehand.

The one thing I do, every time, is pray to G-d for strength for the fast. Strength of mind and spirit, as well as physical strength. And I mean really pray, not just say the words. I approach it with reverence for Hashem: a mix of deep respect and real fear, because I’m not assuming anything. I don’t take it for granted that the strength will be there just because I asked for it before. Every single fast, I ask again, not knowing, hoping. That not-knowing is still there for me, even now. I’m also able to eat a normal meal beforehand, and the truth is that now that I have a better awareness of my body, I notice that after the fast, I fill up rather quickly, so I tend to eat less than I would think my body needs. None of that comes from self reliance, it comes from asking honestly and not assuming I know what the answer will be.

Why Praying, Not Willpower, Works

Why does praying work for me? Why was something seemingly so simple such a game-changer?

Because it’s not as much about praying as it is about believing. Believing that Hashem will take care of me, and this belief needs to extend beyond fast days for it to work on these days as well. When I truly believe that G-d will take care of all my needs and is able to take care of all my needs, then I can pray wholeheartedly for that strength. Because if I don’t fully believe, the help doesn’t come. That doesn’t mean Hashem isn’t capable of it, on the contrary, Hashem is capable of anything and everything. But when I limit my belief in G-d, His ability appears to be limited as well. G-d is great and G-d is huge. I am the limited one, and I am the one who extends those limitations to G-d, even though they don’t apply.

So next time you have to fast, try it. Take a moment to be quiet, take a moment of gratitude to remind yourself how many times Hashem has provided for you, and as you are filling yourself up with that belief, ask for the strength to fast, the strength to transcend your physical needs so that you can elevate your spirituality just that little bit. So that after the fast you can look at the food before you and recognize the gift that it is, how it nourishes your brain and your body, and in doing that gives you energy to tap into that light inside you, that spirituality, that part of Hashem that resides in each and every one of us and elevates us. Then maybe, just maybe, we can get a little closer to Hashem, feel a little more connected to Him, and when that happens I find it easier to connect to the people around me, because I am thinking and acting on a more spiritual plane and less likely to fall prey to all my humanness that gets me in trouble: judgement, jealousy, anger, impatience.

Recovery Is Real

I know this is possible because I live it. If fasting once felt like something that could only begin and end in shame, I am here to tell you it doesn’t have to stay that way. Recovery is real. And on your next fast day, I hope you can reach a little higher.

Please note: some people cannot or are advised not to fast for medical or other reasons. Please follow the guidance of your healthcare provider.

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About the Author

Deb Elbaz is a spiritual coach for Jewish moms healing from binge eating. Drawing on 24 years of personal recovery and lived experience walking alongside other women in their healing through a spiritual program. She now helps Jewish moms heal from food and body obsession through spiritual connection so they can show up with honesty, self-trust, and deep connection in their relationships with their children, their partners, and themselves. She offers one-on-one online coaching for Jewish moms ready to begin that journey. Deb made aliyah with her husband and five children in 2020.